A Very Merry Christmas

I haven’t been very good about keeping up on this whole blog thing but I’m making it my New Year’s resolution to do better.

We’ve been busy with Christmas programs.  My oldest was in a selective choir and band and my oldest girl was chosen for a small ensemble. This music loving mama is SO proud. We’ve been making Christmas candy, not so excited to see what it does to my hips! We’ve done some Christmas caroling, seeing my youngest belt out Jingle Bells makes me smile. Oh and did I mention cleaning, babysitting and just generally bumbling through life?  It’s been a busy month so far!

What we haven’t been busy doing is shopping. I love being a mom, I adore my kids and I want them to have the very best. However, the holidays are stressful for me. Not only did my ex choose to leave us immediately after Christmas a few years ago but our current financial situation makes it nearly impossible for me to get the kids what they actually want. Yes, they get a few gifts, yes some are handmade…we are building memories here. But the mom in me still feels guilty that what is under the tree isn’t what they asked Santa for.

In all my years of Christmases and I’ve had my fair share…never and I mean NEVER have I witnessed first hand the absolute feeling of gratitude that I feel today. Today I went to Bloggess’s well… blog, at the suggestion of a friend and thought “why not” when it came to assembling a wishlist on Amazon and posting a link to it. She said that she had extra funds and was going to try to help people out. I thought it was worth a shot, what did I have to lose right? I. Was. NOT. Prepared. For. What. Happened. Next.

Within minutes, MINUTES,  items on that wishlist had been purchased for my children and messages of encouragement were pouring in. WHAT!? I must have been dreaming right? Nope! I was sitting in my living room literally bawling my eyes out because I had never ever been so grateful in my life.  My faith in humanity is restored, my holiday is looking bright and nothing, NOTHING can keep me down now. I WILL pay this forward some day.

This will always be my Christmas story. The Christmas that complete strangers made me feel again. The Christmas that they showed me love and encouragement. The Christmas that my children were given exactly what they asked Santa for. The Christmas that I spent so much time in tears, but this time tears of absolute joy. Bless you all and thank you so much for changing how I see Christmas. I will forever be grateful to you and will constantly look for ways that I can give back.


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